Girls Going Wild at McMorran
Blue Water Derby Girls play first match on Sunday
Donald Lierman
Contributing Writer
Let’s have some good old-fashioned girl-on-girl action. Speed, style and sensuality are smashing to Port Huron this weekend.
The Blue Water Derby Girls will skate in their inaugural match on Sunday at the McMorran Pavilion. The doors open at 5:30 p.m.
“Expect controlled anarchy,” said coach Jeff “Darryl B. Payne” Good. “The match will remind you of a Mount St. Helena’s type of chaos. The eruption may be overwhelming but it sure will look pretty as it explodes.”
Unlike its 1970 predecessor, roller derby is governed by stringent rules. The days of a reliance on cheap theatricals with a predetermined outcome are long gone. It now has its own governing body: the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association.
“Today’s version of roller derby has more rules than hockey,” said referee Scot “Zoso Naughty” Kavanaugh. “The skaters no longer exchange punches, clothesline each other or toss their opponents over the rails. These girls are true athletes.”
The rules remain reminiscent of the days of the “Blonde Bomber” Joanie Weston from the famous ‘70s San Francisco Bay Bombers. Jammers (designated scoring skaters) still must lap the opponents to score points. The strategies remain similar.
“Imagine football, except both teams have the ball at the same time,” Good said. “The goal is to get your jammer through first. Then your team has unlimited time outs which can be used to stop the other team from being able to score.
“Each team must play offense and defense at the same time. Even at an amateur level, you will not be able to believe the skills set of these ladies.”
Roller derby is being called the fastest growing sport in America. The grassroots explosion of do-it-yourself startup franchises is phenomenal, Good added.
“Of the 120 U.S. teams, only 30 are older than three years old,” he said. “Twenty alone have started this year. The sport has evolved from 40 teams nationally in 2007 to nearly 500 worldwide today. Roller derby has exploded in Canada, Australia and Europe.”
The players find an intrinsic worth in the game that lives up to its violent reputation.
“The sisterhood is amazing,” said skater Brenda “Anna Phylaxis” Good. “We’ll knock each other down one minute and hug the next. This game empowers women. We can open up and be ourselves, while playing a hardcore contact sport.
“This is not just for jocks, cheerleaders or princesses. It is also for those of us who once stuck out in ways that we wish we didn’t. Roller derby is for all walks of life.”
Rocket Ray will perform music before the match and at halftime, and a DJ will play background music throughout the bout. A cash bar will also be available.
“If you like to watch well trained girls in cute outfits getting hot and sweaty while knocking each other down to score — you will love this,” Brenda Good said.
Up to two children aged 10 and under will be admitted free when accompanied by a ticket-holding adult. Tickets are $10.
“We’re the team the established leagues are worried about,” Jeff Good said. “The overall event will border on spectacle, but I assure you the action on the track will be amazing.”
